If I Am
by TweedleDuh
Summary: JoshDonna Song fic. Donna keeps Josh company cause she's afraid of what he'll do alone.


Title: "If I am…"

Author: Steph

Spoilers:Well I guess Noel lol

Summery: Donna and Josh Fic.Donna keeps Josh company so he's not alone.

This is a song fic.Hope you like it! I would enjoy some feedback! Go crazy! Ya wont hurt my feeling.

(In case your having problems… the italics is the song, the bold is the actual spoken words and the stuff in between the ~ Is in Donna's mind)

The song is by Nine Days and is called"If I am"

_ _

__

"So your standin on the ledge."

# "Donna!"

_"Its looks like you might fall…"_

~You've been so mean to me lately.I hurts.I feel helpless.After the countless hours I sacrificed to be there for you when I believed you needed me I still feel snubbed. ~ 

_"…so far down well maybe you were thinking about jumping."_

**"DONNA MOSS!!"**

_"And you could have it all if you learned a little patience…"_

~I hear you Josh.I'm just scared to go in there with you.I'm scared of another outburst or cruel remark.~

_"…For though I can not fly I'm not content to crawl."_

# "What…"

_"To give me little credit, have in my little faith…  
  
_

~That's all I can muster.I don't have the strength any more.My god its tough to even look at you.Your hand.What did you do to yourself Josh?~

"…_I wanna be with you forever and tomorrow's not to late."_

**"I need you to cancel everything I had planned tonight. I have a… 'Meeting' to go to."**

_"But it's always to late when you've got nothing…"_

~I know you have something planned tonight Josh.I know all about it.I've known for a while.Everything has been canceled.You must really be losing it.~

_"…so you say…"_

# "I'll get right on top of that Josh"

_"…and you should never let the sunset on tomorrow…"_

~Your looking at me.Stop looking at me.Those eyes are filled with pain.I'm scared for you Josh.I'm scared I might come in tomorrow morning and find you… Damn it I cant think of that right now.I'll cry or do something girlie like run up and hug you. Your smiling now.~

_"…before the sun rises today."_

**"Donna go home."**

** **

_"If I am…"_****

~ ME?Go home?HA that's funny.Like I can go home and forget all about you.~

_"…another waste of everything you dreamed of…"_

**"I have some things to do first."**

** **

_"…I will let you down."_****

~Wasn't a lie.I do have stuff to do.Like make sure you get home from your "meeting" safe. The smile just disappeared.I'm not surprised.It never stays around long.~

_"If I am…"_

**"Well alright then.You can go away now."**

** **

_"…only here to watch you as you suffer…"_

~How can you be nice to me one minute and then so cruel the next? I can't help but notice you clench that bandaged up hand of yours.I can't believe you Josh.I know you hurt yourself… Just tell someone! Tell me!~

_"…I will let you down."_

**"I can't go away Josh."**

** **

_"So your walking on the edge…"_****

~Wow that was said out loud.There wouldn't happen to be a remote to rewind and record over that would there?~

_"…and you wait your turn to fall."_

# "Excuse me?"

_"But your so far gone that you don't see the hands up held to catch you."_

~Your giving me a cold confused stare.Well here goes.~

_"And you could find the fault in the heart that you've been handed…" _

**"You shouldn't be alone right now."**

** **

_"for though you cannot fly your not content to crawl."  
  
_

~ Its true.You shouldn't be.You might do something I could never live with.~

_"And it's always to late when you've got nothing so you say." _

__

"Donna I think I'm old enough to know when I need time alone thank you.And I don't believe I asked for your opinion."

_"But you should never let the sun set on tomorrow…"_

~ Damn you Lyman…Why do you have to be like this?Your making it so hard but yet I'll never give up.I'm a woman after all.~

_"…before the sun rises."_

"I want you to know I'm always here for you.I just wanted to make that clear alright?"

_"If I am…"_

~Your features are softening.Maybe I struck a cord.~

_"…another waste of everything you hope for…"_

# "Thanks Donna…But I'm fine"

_"…I will let you down."_

~Your NOT fine Josh! Can't you hear a hint of that in my voice?I can't leave you alone.Not until I know your ok.I'm not going to let you be alone for one second.~

_"If I am…"_

# "Can we talk?"

_"…only here to watch you as you suffer…"_

~The only thing I can think of to keep you in the room is talking.Please give me this chance.~

_"…I will let you down."_

# "About what?"

_"So your standing on the ledge it looks like you might fall."_

~Ok your interested!That's a good sign! Now I just have to think of something to discuss with you!~

_"If I am…"_

"Stuff!We never get to chat anymore Josh."

_"…another waste of everything you dreamed of…"_

~I'm going to keep you talking to me till that meeting of yours with that therapist guy if it's the last thing I do.~

_"…I will let you down."_

# "Donna I…"

_"If I am…"_

~Oh no you don't!~

_"…only here to watch you as you suffer…"_

"...JOSH! We are gonna chat a while!So sit back and get comfortable."

_"…I will let you down."_

~I love that shocked look on your face!Lets me know I won.~

_"The answers we find…"_

"Alright.What are we talking about."

_"…are never what we had in mind…"_

~Ok Donna… Good job!Forget to pick a topic.Ok let's see.A TV show is a good topic!What did I watch last night?Oh no….Well its worth a shot.~

_"…so we make it up,…"_

# "Have you ever seen the Crocodile Hunter?"

_"…as we go along."_

~All right so it's a stupid topic.At least it IS one!~

_"You don't talk of dreams …"_

**"I saw it a couple times.That guys crazy!"**

_ _

_"…I won't mention tomorrow…"_****

** **

~BULLSEYE!~

## "…we wont make those…" 

"I know! I was watching it last night and He was picking up Rattle snakes somewhere in upstate New York."

"…promises…"

~Your smiling again.So am I.Thank god I'm keeping you in my presence.I'm afraid you might hurt yourself for the last time if you were alone.~

"…that we cant keep."

"New York huh?That's way to close to us.Last thing I need is to wake up with a Rattle snake on my head or something."

## "I will never leave you…"

~Am I giving you ideas?Geez I hope not.But your interested and that's all that matters.~

"…I will not let you down."

"I don't think we have a snake problem Josh.But I'll remember that next April fools!"

## "I will never leave you…"

~Well I kept you talking to me for a couple hours! I feel so proud of myself.Now you're going to see that guy.At least you wont be alone.I'll be here when you get out Josh.I always will be.~

"…I will not let you down."

I hope you liked this.I heard this song and I automatically thought of Josh and Donna… ~sigh~ the life of a West Winger.


End file.
